Posted in humor

Infusion of Confusion

Have you ever thought something would be simple to use, only to discover otherwise?


I wanted a container for iced tea and was thrilled when my mother gifted me with one I had been dreaming of, the kind with a built-in tea strainer.


After unpacking the box, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on the colorful manual, which I hoped would reveal how to make hot tea infusions, iced tea infusions, and cold beverages with fruit infusions.


The manual lay inside the closed tea container, reminding me of a ship in a bottle. I couldn’t figure out how it got there and how I’d get it out. When I tried twisting the lid off, it stayed on. To top it off, I was trying to keep my lid on as I turned and twisted, twisted and turned. Had the company manufactured the container around the manual? I didn’t have a clear picture of how it got inside the pitcher.


3-2-1 lift off! The lid came loose and I grabbed the instructions while I had the chance. They were minimal, just a few sentences. Obviously, I didn’t need to be a rocket scientist. But maybe being a tea scientist would have helped (just teasing).


I decided to first make iced tea and work my way up from there. I followed the directions to a T, adding loose leaves to the strainer, cool water to the container, putting the lid back on, and placing the container in the fridge. “Infuse for one hour,” I read.


After two hours, I did a taste test. While it didn’t taste like chicken, it also didn’t taste like my lemon balm, licorice, lavender tea leaves concoction.


I strained to understand why my iced tea wasn’t. No matter. I’d move on. I’d try making hot tea.


I heated water for the next infusion. I didn’t boil it. The instructions said not to (I didn’t want to be in a lot of hot water). I added heated water to the container. I needed more, so I filled up my teapot and turned on the burner.


While waiting for the water to warm up, I reread the directions. This time I saw the fine print. Turns out it takes eight hours to make iced tea.


Whoever said, “patience is a virtue” was right. Next time I’ll tell myself, just chill.



I am a rather obscure 14th C. poet, whose work has been translated into over thirty dialects of gibberish. I now spend my days translating from the gibberish into English and back again, as need be.

6 thoughts on “Infusion of Confusion

  1. Oh one will end up in hot water infusing tea for 8 hours!!! Maybe you forgot ice cubes? Reread the instructions all over again, maybe you overlooked a fine point as you seemed confused from the start of the entire process 🙂

    Had a good laugh reading this Eva!


  2. Such profusion of confusion about infusion! The image of a ship in a bottle was perfect, but knowing your talent for mixing ingredients, I was hoping that sea water wouldn’t be part of the brew, no matter how trendy sea salt is these days. You still have another two months of summer to experiment on best iced tea concoctions–no kale, please.


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s