If you’re like me, you don’t receive enough junk mail.
Have I got a great offer for you!
Best of all, it’s free.**
Thanks to my start-up, Junk Mail Unlimited, you can get up to five pieces of junk mail every day for the rest of your life.
I know what you’re thinking: This is too good to be true.
But you’re wrong. Just ask Betty F. from Berkeley, Illinois: “I signed up and get so much junk mail it’s like a dream come true.” Or Agatha R. from Simsbury, Connecticut: “Love the mail piling up on my driveway.” Or Dudley P. from Lincoln, Nebraska: “I feel like I’ve won the lottery!”
I could go on, but I’m sure you’re wondering how you, too, can get junk mail.
Sign up now and as a bonus, you’ll receive unlimited magazine offers from magazines you could care less about; renewal notices from magazines just one month after you’ve subscribed; donation requests from organizations you’ve never heard of; and much, much more.
What’s the catch?
No catch, no gimmicks. Just pure junk mail.
The first ten to respond get a lifetime supply of calendars, address labels, and notepads.
**Void where prohibited.