Posted in chocolate, desserts, humor, Nanaimo bars, travel

Bar None

On my recent Canadian Rockies visit, I discovered the Nanaimo bar. This decadent treat may have begun in British Columbia, but like many travelers, is found in other parts of Canada. Though I had seen it along my travels, I didn’t know what it was and was hesitant about venturing forth, until, thanks to an article in an in-flight magazine, my mouth watered and the next time I saw one, I pounced.

I fell in love with the chocolate wafer crust, creamy vanilla filling and rich chocolate top. When I returned to the U.S., I consulted with my good friend, the blogger Chocofigbee (, who was kind enough to divulge her Secret Recipe. I collected the ingredients and followed the recipe to the C (C for chocolate). It was one of the rare times I didn’t deviate from a recipe.

Deviate a lot, that is.

I deviated just a little by adding more shredded coconut than called for to the middle section.

I waited patiently during the intervals.I couldn’t wait to try my concoction once it had set.

Verdict: the bottom was too crumbly, the top too firm. The middle, which had tasted creamy and vanilla-e when I licked the remaining bit from the bowl, didn’t taste like anything.

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I panicked, worried that my pals at the potluck would neglect my creation.

I decided to turn my my bars into pudding cake, which looked more like pudding. I poured coconut almond milk drink into a saucepan, added all my bars, plus agar agar. Agar agar, according to, “is a gelling agent extracted from red algae. It is commonly used to stabilize foams and to thicken or gel liquids. It is relatively easy to work with and a good starting point for modernist cooking.”

Or post-modern, if you’re Chef E.

I then said my magic incantation: Mush kush, mush kush, stir stir stir.

I stirred as I heated it over a medium flame. I poured it into a pan and baked it at 350 for ten minutes, put it in the fridge for ten more minutes. It got rave reviews at the potluck.

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I am a rather obscure 14th C. poet, whose work has been translated into over thirty dialects of gibberish. I now spend my days translating from the gibberish into English and back again, as need be.

4 thoughts on “Bar None

  1. Hurdling that bar isn’t hard for you to do as long as you have that “mush kush” technique. Seeing all the photos of chocolate covering everything in sight convinced me that your concoction was a success. YUM!


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