Posted in exercise, forgetfulness, humor, swimming, swimming pools

Kidnapped Swimsuit! Reward Offered!

Today A Certain Someone, whose name shall be kept anonymous to protect her identity, suffered a memory lapse post-laps and left her swimsuit behind in the shower. She discovered her loss when she arrived home and called 9-1-1-swimsuit. Thankfully, she got her suit back, but the situation reminded her of the terrible day her suit was kidnapped. She asked me to repost the account here.


Kidnapped Swimsuit! Reward Offered!

Yesterday in the East Bay, a woman’s green swimsuit was taken from a shower at the local pool. The incident occurred post-swim. Whoever took the suit is now in a lot of hot water.

After swimming laps, Ms. Swimmer (who shall remain anonymous to protect her identity) suffered a memory lapse and forgot her suit in the shower. Hours went by before she realized her suit was missing.

The incident is creating waves across the community.

“This kidnapping doesn’t suit me at all,” said Chlo Reen, who swims daily at the pool. “I can’t wait for things to return to normal so I can get back in the swim of things.”

Detective Bak Stroke dove headfirst into the case, organizing a search committee to comb the area.

Meanwhile, a swim cap reward has been offered to the person who reveals the suit’s whereabouts.

“We’ll find the missing suit,” said Detective Stroke, “if all goes swimmingly.”



I am a rather obscure 14th C. poet, whose work has been translated into over thirty dialects of gibberish. I now spend my days translating from the gibberish into English and back again, as need be.

8 thoughts on “Kidnapped Swimsuit! Reward Offered!

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