Posted in apple trees, clothing, Grocery Stores, humor, Merino wool, organic produce, shopping, SmartWool, vegetarian cooking

Retail Tales

Today I bought a Cameo apple.

“Only one?” the cashier asked.

“It’s making a cameo appearance,” I said.

I bought vegetarian breakfast sausages, which I’ll eat for dinner. I feel funny eating them for dinner, like I’m breaking the law. It reminds me of the time I bought an apple good for baking and ate it raw. I felt guilty not cooking it. A friend reassured me; she said the tree it came from didn’t say “Must Use For Baking Only.”

I also bought a Merino sweater, made by SmartWool. I like SmartWool–it’s smart.
I have some SmartWool socks AKA my PhD socks. They have a higher degree than yours truly, so I call on them whenever I need help figuring something out.

I think my new Merino will equal their brain power. It’s in top form.


I am a rather obscure 14th C. poet, whose work has been translated into over thirty dialects of gibberish. I now spend my days translating from the gibberish into English and back again, as need be.

4 thoughts on “Retail Tales

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