Posted in Customer Service, humor

Even Phone Directories Need Directory Assistance

Phone directories are not created equal. This became evident  recently.

I had a phone book. I used it often. White pages, yellow pages. One white page tore and fell out. I tried to retape it. My surgical skills weren’t up to par. That page was never the same.

So, when the postman delivered directories for the New Year, I rejoiced. I grabbed my new phone book, said a proper goodbye to my old one, and moved on.

Until weeks later, when I attempted to call the library. I used the number in my new phone book. I got a recording saying that number had been disconnected. It was, I realized, the number from twenty years ago. Similar things happened when I tried calling the stationery store and other businesses. By that time, my beloved phone book was long gone. Even a long distance call couldn’t have reached it.

I wondered why my new book contained outdated numbers.  I called the phone book company. To my surprise, it had no relation to my phone company. It was merely a company that aggregated phone number listings sent to it. Aggregated, and in the process, aggravated. When I complained, the customer service rep claimed that all the numbers were up to date.

After years of dealing with bad phone directories, I took action. I called my phone company. It directed me to directory assistance for directories.

With any luck, I will receive numbers I can count on. Not phonies.



I am a rather obscure 14th C. poet, whose work has been translated into over thirty dialects of gibberish. I now spend my days translating from the gibberish into English and back again, as need be.

6 thoughts on “Even Phone Directories Need Directory Assistance

  1. Oh no–fake phone books! What next? Fake chocolate? Fake doughnuts? The world is going to pots in a bread basket . . . . . One suggestion Emsch the Mensch, send it back to the robot in Customer Service.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. To Emsch, I agree with you that directories don’t direct. I’m hanging on to my old one until it falls apart. Trying HELP doesn’t help either. We need to go back to writing info with pencil (What’s That?) and paper (What’s that?), say the Robots.


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.