Posted in humor, New Blogs, shipping

Shipping & (Mis)Handling

My modem died (may it rest in peace). My Internet Service Provider said they would send me a new one at no cost, including free shipping, and it would probably arrive in a few days.

I called the shipping company with the tracking #; the automated voice said that my package would arrive by the end of the day Sept. 4. I pressed 0 and asked whether “end of the day” referred to the end of the business day or end of the actual day; if the latter, I wanted to change the delivery location, since I wanted to get it before the long weekend. The agent suggested I change it to a store that had better hours. He said to call back in 24 hours to make sure the new address was in the system.

The next day I called; the agent verified that the new address was in the system and to call the following day to find out the estimated time of arrival.

I did; the first agent I spoke with verified the new address and said that my package would arrive between 8am & 6pm. I asked whether it was possible to get a narrower time frame and she said to call back in a couple of hours.

I did; the second agent said it would arrive between 6pm & 8pm, but that it might arrive earlier.

I called mid-afternoon and the automated voice said the package would arrive Sept. 8. I pressed 0; the agent verified my new address as well as the new delivery time. When I asked why, she said she didn’t know.

I called again; an agent verified my new address and said the package would arrive the next day because it couldn’t be delivered to the location, due it being the end of the business day. I said, But the store is open till 9pm. She did not have a response to that.

I called again; an agent said it would be delivered that afternoon.

I called again; an agent said it would be delivered Sept. 8 and that the pandemic had caused delays.

When I called Sept. 8, the automated voice sounded iffy that my package would be delivered that day, and the agent said, Either today or tomorrow. I said, What is the problem? The agent didn’t know.

I called again; an agent said the problem was that there was a new address that hadn’t been verified by the system. I said, But last week several people verified the new address was in the system. She said she would do an investigation and someone would call in two hours.

No one did, so I called and someone put me in touch with Investigations and that person said that the package had been scanned into the nearest facility Sept. 5, was on a trailer, ready to go to the new location, and she would write a note saying I had to have it the afternoon of Sept. 8. She also gave me the facility’s phone number.

I called; the person said it is not here. I said, But I spoke to this agent and she said it was there. The person said, it is not here. And that agent only knows what is on the computer whereas I am here in the facility. It is not on a trailer, not in Damaged Goods. I said, Why would it be? The person said, It might have fallen out of the box, torn the envelope, the bar code may have fallen off. It is possible it is missing. I said, Can’t you look for it? No, the person said, because the terminal is huge and the search would take hours. I can file a Damaged Goods Report and you can file a claim or you can wait till tomorrow to see if it is found. I said, what if you file a report and then it is found? Then the package is returned to the sender, the person said, and suggested I call a special line between 6am & 11am, since by then the person would have an answer for me.

The next day I woke early and called the direct line. No answer.

I called the main number and spoke with the facility’s coordinator. I explained my story. He said, We have your package. It is on a trailer, ready to go on a van. It will be delivered to the new address today. I don’t know why the person said the terminal is huge; it is our smallest facility.

I received my package mid-afternoon. Hurray!



I am a rather obscure 14th C. poet, whose work has been translated into over thirty dialects of gibberish. I now spend my days translating from the gibberish into English and back again, as need be.

8 thoughts on “Shipping & (Mis)Handling

  1. I’m not surprised that the various agents of the shipping departments don’t communicate with each other and everyone knows that computers definitely don’t talk to each other 😦 What surprises me is that no one actually used the convenient excuse of “COVID causes a lot of delays and we have to expect that!”
    Am so glad you finally got your modem, Emsch the Mensch—hope it’s working for you. . .

    Liked by 2 people

  2. What a tale of misfortune, and silliness. I have had similar issues in regards to an item I ordered recently. The label was printed in April, but it was delayed until mid May, and then still it never left the status of label printed. I never received the item, but my credit card was billed in April. Finally, I got a refund. The new normal?? I certainly hope not for either of us. ~nan

    Liked by 2 people

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