Posted in baking, breakfast, humor, recipes

9-1-1 Pudding Cake

I was uninspired by eating yogurt for breakfast or yogurt with blueberries, so I decided to make blueberry muffins, but realized I didn’t have all the ingredients, so I made corn muffins with blueberries, since I had most of the ingredients.

Except I didn’t have whole wheat flour, so I used buckwheat.

And needed to add an extra egg because of using buckwheat.

And lacked 4 tbs. butter, so I added lemon olive oil.

And accidentally used 4 tbs. baking powder because I misread the recipe.

And when I shook the baking soda out, a clump fell into the bowl.

And I substituted cardamom and ginger for a dash of cinnamon.

But aside from that, I had cornmeal, blueberries, yogurt, honey.

The smell of corn muffins with blueberries was tantalizing. I couldn’t wait to eat one.

Here’s what this food reviewer had to say: a cross between bleh and dry with a hint of Playdoh.

What was I to do?

Why, call 9-1-1 Pudding Cake, of course! The Pudding Cake rescue team advised me on key ingredients, so I raced to the store and bought mango juice, coconut milk blend, and raisins. When I returned home, I crumpled the muffins into a square pan, dousing them in mango juice, and added coconut milk blend, another egg, plus raisins by the handful, and put the concoction back in the oven at 250* for many more minutes.

Instead of creating something I didn’t want to touch with a ten foot spoon, I made a scrumptious pudding cake that I will enjoy for many breakfasts to come. Hurray for pudding cake!

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Author:

I am a rather obscure 14th C. poet, whose work has been translated into over thirty dialects of gibberish. I now spend my days translating from the gibberish into English and back again, as need be.

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