Posted in beverages, cleaning, drinks, humor, New Blogs, recipes

When Life Hands You Smoothies

I had a new supply of bananas and an opened almond milk carton, which meant one thing: smoothie time! I love smoothies and drank so many a couple of months ago, I needed a break, so after washing the blender cup and attachments, drying them in the dish drainer, retrieving them from the floor, where they had fallen, and examining them for cracks, I had put everything back in the cupboard. Now I retrieved it and twisted the base onto the blender cup. Ordinarily, it would stay locked in place, but this time, it twisted on, then off, on, then off. I couldn’t figure out why and thought maybe all would be well once I made the smoothie.

I set the bottom of the blender on my kitchen table and plugged it in. My table is a nice size, but over the years had gotten cluttered with magazines and letters and book newsletters and recipes. Which meant that when I sat down to eat, I had only a very small piece of table for my plate and mug. Recently, I decided that I wanted my table back, so had been decluttering. So far I had cleaned up the northwest, northeast, and southwest corners. The southeast side still had a pile and when I looked at it every day, an “ugggghhh” reverberated through my mind at the thought of decluttering. Where would I put everything?

For now though, I wouldn’t think about anything but my smoothie. I put the blender cup and base on the bottom, added 1 cup almond milk, 2 bananas, some cinnamon, and ginger. Put the lid on tight and pressed Liquify. Less than a minute later, I had a yummy-looking smoothie.

I took off the lid and picked up the blender cup. That’s when it happened. The blender separated from the base and smoothie glooped all over the southeast corner of my table, spreading to the southwest, and dripping onto the floor. Oh, what a blender blunder, I thought. If only I had closely examined the base and noticed it had a fracture.

I grabbed paper towels and dish towels to sop up the gloopy mess. I decided that what happened was not a blender blunder, after all, but instead a smooth move on my part. Since even after my attempts at cleaning, my papers were too wet to salvage, so I had no choice but to toss them into the trash.

Hurray! I could see and use my whole table again!

Author:

I am a rather obscure 14th C. poet, whose work has been translated into over thirty dialects of gibberish. I now spend my days translating from the gibberish into English and back again, as need be.

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