Posted in funny, humor, lost and found, lost hats, sunglasses, Uncategorized

A Tale of Two Hats & Two Sunglasses

I had plans to go out and put on my sunhat. Then I was searching for my sunglasses. I have two pairs and one pair was in plain sight while the other pair, which I wanted to wear, was hidden. I searched and searched and finally found it. Then I thought, now I need my hat. I was searching for that for a few minutes until I realized I was wearing it.

 

That reminded me of the time I had taken a commuter bus to visit a friend. I was wearing a wool hat she had knitted. When it was time to go, we said our goodbyes, and I got back on the bus. Suddenly, I thought, my hat is missing. I asked the people on the bus if they had seen it. They looked on their seats and the floor. I got off the bus and looked in my friend’s car. I searched the sidewalk. The bus driver had to leave. I felt sad thinking that I would have to go without my friend’s hat. I walked up the bus stairs. As I turned to say goodbye to my friend, I happened to touch my head. There was my hat.

Today I went biking with my bf.  We drove to another town. I was wearing my sunhat and sunglasses in the car. When I got out of the car, I left my hat behind. I immediately thought, I must remember to put on my sunglasses. My hand touched my bike jacket’s chest pocket. I felt their hard plastic frames and removed the sunglasses. I attempted to put them on. I couldn’t. I was already wearing them.

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Posted in Books, fleece hats, funny, hat thieves, humor, Libraries, lost hats, post-traumatic hat syndrome, Turtle Fur, Uncategorized

Post-Traumatic Hat Syndrome

This morning it was raining as I walked to the library. I had my navy blue fleece hat AKA Cozy Cozy pulled down over my ears. I felt so grateful for its warmth.

When I got to the library, I removed the books from my knapsack. I noticed my sunhat lounged at the bottom, but not Cozy Cozy. I figured I had put it in my knapsack’s front zippered pocket.

Later, when it was time to go, it was not there. I took all my books out of the main compartment, peering down: no hat. Nor was it stuffed in a jacket pocket. It also wasn’t on my head (once, when I thought my hat was missing, I found it on my head). I retraced my steps–into the B aisle of Fiction, upstairs to the magazine collection, the elevator. I checked two Lost & Founds and even conferred with the Security Guard, who thought it must have fallen out of my pocket into the waiting hands of a Hat Thief.

The world seemed gray as I trudged home.

In theory, I felt grateful I hadn’t lost my identity, but my attachment to Cozy Cozy is such that I felt like I had lost my identity.

To top it off, the hat store, where I had purchased my beloved hat, was out of fleece hats.

I called Inspector Fondue, who was out and about and said he’d investigate. He said he’d look with his long binoculars that make his eyes big as a wide-eyed frog’s. He reported he had looked to the left, to the right, sideways, forward, and behind: no hat.

I took a deep breath and made an attempt to move forward. I found it hard to concentrate on anything except the Hat Attack.

I Googled “fleece hats,” and saw photos with prices ranging from $20 -$350. That was not right. Next I Googled “fleece beanies,” though I felt weird doing so; I tend to think of beanies as caps with propellers on top, but in the hat world, the hat I wear is actually a beanie.

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw that a certain clothing co-op carried turtle fur beanies. Turtle fur was the first kind of fleece hat I bought in ’94 and that hat was my #1 favorite, until its mysterious disappearance eleven years later.

I ordered two for the price of one (they’ll keep each other company).

Then it was time to pay. And I, who have numbers galore memorized, messed up my credit card info. I told the customer service rep. it was because I had Post-Traumatic Hat Syndrome.

Posted in humor, knapsacks, lost and found, lost hats

Hats Off To Me!

If it isn’t one thing, it’s another. First I was dealing with lost mail and then when I wanted to go out this morning, I discovered, much to my horror, that my sun hat had mysteriously disappeared. It was not on the floor or on the shelf, nor was it inside my blue knapsack or my gray knapsack.

Fortunately, I do have two other sun hats waiting in the wings. I chose one, grateful for its presence. I went to the gym to look through the Lost and Found as well to peer into the locker I had used. No hat.

When I got home, I searched some more. Then I had a thought. Instead of looking in the main compartment of my new gray knapsack, I decided to check one of its many outside front pockets. First pocket: no hat. Then I unzipped the second pocket. There was my hat, a bit sleepy, but otherwise fine.

I kissed it hello and shouted, “You’re here! You’re here!”

As you might imagine, I was very happy to let my hat out of the bag.