Posted in apple trees, clothing, Grocery Stores, humor, Merino wool, organic produce, shopping, SmartWool, vegetarian cooking

Retail Tales

Today I bought a Cameo apple.

“Only one?” the cashier asked.

“It’s making a cameo appearance,” I said.

I bought vegetarian breakfast sausages, which I’ll eat for dinner. I feel funny eating them for dinner, like I’m breaking the law. It reminds me of the time I bought an apple good for baking and ate it raw. I felt guilty not cooking it. A friend reassured me; she said the tree it came from didn’t say “Must Use For Baking Only.”

I also bought a Merino sweater, made by SmartWool. I like SmartWool–it’s smart.
I have some SmartWool socks AKA my PhD socks. They have a higher degree than yours truly, so I call on them whenever I need help figuring something out.

I think my new Merino will equal their brain power. It’s in top form.

Posted in dried figs, grocery shopping, humor, organic produce

Go Figure

I was at the grocery store yesterday to buy greens. The selection makes me green with envy. That’s because it has eight kinds of organic greens in bulk ~ baby kale and baby swiss chard, mizuno, spinach, Asian greens, arugula, salad, salad, and more salad.

I was walking toward the back of the store, where the greens hung out, and all was going well, and then I spotted the dried figs.

I had been thinking about dried figs recently. I like to keep figs around. They are a figsture in my home. Organic Turkish dried figs rested on the shelf, nestling closely in packets marked down from $3.69 to $.99. I took one package to the register. I wanted to make sure the price was real, not a figment of my imagination.

The cashier confirmed the price and said it was on sale all month.

Go figure.

I bought that package, then paid for another when I bought the greens. I plan to get more.
Maybe I’ll buy so many that customers will try to figure out who depleted the supply.

They’ll never find me.

I’ll be doing business under a figtitious name.