Posted in Customer Service, directory assistance, funny, humor, telephone directories, Uncategorized

Even Phone Directories Need Directory Assistance

Phone directories are not created equal. This became evident  recently.

I had a phone book. I used it often. White pages, yellow pages. One white page tore and fell out. I tried to retape it. My surgical skills weren’t up to par. That page was never the same.

So, when the postman delivered directories for the New Year, I rejoiced. I grabbed my new phone book, said a proper goodbye to my old one, and moved on.

Until weeks later, when I attempted to call the library. I used the number in my new phone book. I got a recording saying that number had been disconnected. It was, I realized, the number from twenty years ago. Similar things happened when I tried calling the stationery store and other businesses. By that time, my beloved phone book was long gone. Even a long distance call couldn’t have reached it.

I wondered why my new book contained outdated numbers.  I called the phone book company. To my surprise, it had no relation to my phone company. It was merely a company that aggregated phone number listings sent to it. Aggregated, and in the process, aggravated. When I complained, the customer service rep claimed that all the numbers were up to date.

After years of dealing with bad phone directories, I took action. I called my phone company. It directed me to directory assistance for directories.

With any luck, I will receive numbers I can count on. Not phonies.

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Posted in change, Communication, Customer Service, funny, humor, office supplies, office supply stores, rewards programs, Uncategorized

Change Needed

I started off the morning by doing laundry. I had enough quarters for one load. I had been thinking I’d wait for another day to do more, but then decided to finish everything today. To accomplish my worthy goals, I needed change.

I went to the corporate-owned supermarket to get it. Not too long ago, I had gotten quarters there and the cashier who gave them to me said, “If you ever need quarters, you come to us.” So I did. And today’s cashier said, “We can’t give you quarters.”

He suggested going to the Laundromat. You can feed bills into the machine and it spits out quarters. The machine had a sign: For Customers Only. I checked around to see if anyone was watching. I didn’t notice a video camera. I felt like a rebel as I gave the machine my bills.

While waiting for the washer to spin, I had time on my hands and used it to call a certain office supply store, where I bought my shredder last year. At the time, the cashier had told me that since I had a Rewards card, I would get a Reward. I love such promises. She said I’d get it December 31. In December I also bought some ink and recycled ink cartridges. The cashier told me I’d get credit for my purchase January 6. I could hardly wait.

December 31 came and went; no Reward. Ditto for January 6. I called to complain. Customer Service told me that 12/31 was incorrect; Feb. 1 was the correct date. As for the Jan. 6 credit, it would actually happen June 4.

Feb. 1 came and went; no Reward. I looked in my phone book for the store’s number. It showed only the number for Printing and Marketing Services. I called and asked for the main store. The man said, “This is the main store.” I said, “I thought it was Printing and Marketing.” He said, “This is Printing and Marketing.” I said, “My question is not about printing and marketing.” I told him what it was about. He said, “You need the main store.”

Next I spoke with Customer Service. The person said, “Oh, you will get a Reward June 4.” I noted that was the date for my ink credit. The coincidence was too much for her to handle; she referred me to the Rewards Desk.

When I called, the woman said, “I can’t access the log in page. I can’t access the account.” After everything I had been through, I was not surprised.. She said she’d keep trying. A few minutes later: success! She told me that I had $8 ink credit and it would expire Feb. 28.

Whoa. There is a big difference between Feb 28 and June 4. Just imagine if I had waited till June 4. No ink credit for me. I cannot imagine a sadder fate. As for my Reward, turns out such things are equal to two percent of the purchase and distributed in $5 increments. I did the math. My 2% = 1.98; no Reward for me.

For many years, I had customer servicey kinds of jobs. As I recall, it was key to communicate clearly so the customers would be happy and want to return. The misinformation I received made me long for change.

Funny how I started the day wanting that, too.

Posted in flu, funny, humor, Uncategorized

The Road To Recovery

The chicken soup I received as a gift came in handy, when a monster by the name of Flu took up residence. It’s been a rough couple of weeks. My thoughts were congested. I wasn’t sure what I’d write for my next blog, but wanted to try to cough something up.

Now that I’m on the road to recovery, I can look back and see how far I’ve come. Statistically speaking, I didn’t sneeze as much as when I’ve gotten other colds, though I did manage to use up half a box of tissues. I also coughed more. It started as a simple beat, then progressed to a nonstop percussive rhythm. Now it’s slowed down. I like being around other coughers. We have a really great symphony of sounds. My nose was stuffed up for awhile, but around the time of the government shutdown, I had a sniffles shutdown that cleared the way. I even got my taste buds back, which means that any day now I’ll be going out for pastries. If only my ears would pop, everything would be A-OK.

Stay well, dear readers.

This is the one blog I don’t want to go viral.